A few months back, my younger brother received a visit from an old friend of his song-writing past, inspiration.   Though my brother wouldn’t admit it, I believe his friend dropped by for an intervention.  Talent was wasting away in a cold dark space and in dire need of company.  A few lines of lyrics, a melody, and a story of personal triumph gathered together and kindled a fire and then…well…then my brother shot me an email.  He shared the lyrics with me and asked if I might put pen to paper and see if anything fleshes out.  About a year later, something did.  I can’t be certain if I too was visited by inspiration or rather if I suffered incontinence of the brain.  Either way, after a period of quiet mediation, a variety of words decided to congregate and share a message.  Sadly, I fear even the late great Johnny Cash would be hard pressed to make anything out of the mess as there are far too many words for it to be a recordable song, yet far too few for meaning or truth or beauty or anything magnificent to be explored to its glorious depths.  Though here I sit uploading the mess to the world wide web anyhow.  

 

From speaking with my brother, he is whittling it into a song…and maybe someday he will figure out how to carve it into something nice.  Until then, I give you…

 

 

Peace

 

  

Verse 1

 

The train whistle’s screaming.

The steam engine’s beating

To the thunderous thump of my heart.

Excitement now builds,

It’s giving me chills,

For seeking a peaceful new start.

 

 

Memories strangled,

Spirit left tangled

From the suffering, misery and pain.

Children molested,

Women divested

Of worth in that city gone insane.

 

The young girls turned tricks

On an opiate fix

While the boys would kill on a dare.

No fathers around,

Just mothers drunk bound,

Did anybody there even care?

 

A mother seen crying,

Her baby left dying

In her arms so cold and still.

The screams of the child

Set the boyfriend off wild,

So Mom fed her a pile of pills.

 

The nightmares of tears

Plagued too many years.

The wickedness refused to cease.

I just had to run

From my hand on the gun

That longed to rest me in peace.

 

 

Verse 2

 

There’s a glade in the mountains

Near waterfall fountains

That gently removes your cares.

It’s surrounded by trees

With colorful leaves

Like nothing I’ve seen anywhere.

 

I made it my home,

A life all alone,

Hidden away from the world.

A cabin of logs

And two loyal dogs,

Never did I fear a quarrel.

 

In the corner a bed

For my worn weary head,

In the center a table for one,

Though I’d never speak

The floors, they would creak,

Else silence would scream from both lungs.

 

In the quiet of night

And bathed in starlight,

The nightmares began to fade.

The chorus of cries

Were drowned in the sky,

Yet my guilt I could not evade.

 

As time kept on passing,

A storm was amassing,

A strange feeling began to increase.

The clouds and the thunder

Would start me to wonder,

Did I mistake silence for peace?

 

 

Verse 3

 

In a small mountain town

With the sun going down,

I caught a stunning girl’s gaze.

Long curly hair,

Blue eyes, I just stared.

Her smile set my heart ablaze.

 

A year of my courting,

Love letters assuring

My intentions were honorably true,

I won her sweet heart

And swore we’d never part

For this was a love I wouldn’t lose.

 

A wedding ensued.

Then a baby came too.

My life, it was changed for good.

A child to feed

And a wife with needs,

The silence, it fled to the woods.

 

The chaos of chores

From taming the outdoors

Shoved my guilt to the edge of my mind.

With blood on my hands,

I shaped the raw land

And fought through the cumbersome grind.

 

A son in my arms,

The glade now a farm,

The family life filled me with joy.

A wife at my side,

What a wonderful ride,

I found peace with a wife and boy.

 

 

Verse 4

 

Some subtle signs

Should have caught my mind

When my dogs’ behavior changed.

Stumbling around,

Aggressive when bound,

The rabies took ‘em both while caged.

 

A harmless small cut

From one of the mutts,

The child did not understand.

Six painful days

In a bed ridden haze,

We lost our sweet boy to death’s hand.

 

Another cold winter

Where sickness had sent her

To bed with a fever to hide,

Influenza they said

Killed her in bed,

Now their graves lie side by side.

 

It was life’s cold revenge,

The swift tragic ends

To my loves, my life, and my joy,

No violence by man,

No sick twisted plan,

Just the fate that lives to destroy. 

 

With tears flowing down,

I knelt on the ground

And stared at the empty chairs.

The rage and the pain,

All consuming refrain,

Tore my great peace to despair.

 

 

Verse 5

 

Alone in the mountains

A grief stricken fountain

That spewed a torrent of tears,

My world was all gone

Like the stars at dawn

But the sun lit me a path quite clear.

 

In a drawer well hidden,

An old friend forbidden

From visiting me while I suffer,

A silvery sheen,

Stark cold and clean,

With just one pull it would be over.

 

Deadly black thoughts,

Anguish had wrought,

Were broken by a knock on the door.

I took a deep breath

Wondering if death

Had come calling to this cabin once more.

 

The stench of my guilt

From blood that was spilt

Would have made me easy to find.

But what should I care?

Let justice be fair

And end this bleak life of mine.

 

I’d welcome the snuffer.

How much could I suffer?

What was this life really worth?

Would I get my release

And find my true peace

A good six feet under the earth?

 

 

Verse 6

 

I opened the door

And a preacher to the poor

Asked me for a place to stay.

Was it more then just fate

He found me in this state

And he arrived at this time and day?

 

To him I wouldn’t listen

Didn’t care who had risen

Or who had died for all my sins.

Innocent children, they die.

People murder and lie.

No, this world is a godless pen.

 

If love is really real,

He began his appeal,

Then there must be a God who loves.

If justice is true

And debts become due,

Then there must be a God above.

 

But I deserve hell.

At a baby I yelled,

So her mother, she drowned her in pills.

He said it was rough,

But God’s grace is enough

To forgive you of all your ills.

 

He sat through my pain.

It wasn’t in vain.

He helped me reconcile my past.

And through his great favor

I knelt to my savior

And found my true peace at last.

 

 

Verse 7

 

“Please share the message.

Christ saves and he blesses.”

He spoke as he got up to leave.

“The peace you now know

Should be generously sown.”

Were his last echoing words to me.

 

Desperate wild cries

And sad little eyes

Began to haunt me once more.

The depraved mad city,

Not worth a moment’s pity,

Had called to me as he walked out the door.

 

At the table I sat

With a picture in my lap

Of my beautiful wife and boy,

With their love in my heart

I chose to depart

And head back to the city to toil.

 

A life with a purpose

Is not at all worthless,

I discovered when I heard God’s call.

For those children in need,

I will suffer and bleed.

I will give that sick city my all.

 

 

The train whistle’s screaming,

The steam engine’s beating

To the thunderous thump of my heart.

Excitement now builds,

It’s giving me chills,

For seeking a peaceful new start.

 

Bennett, M.J.